Don't Wanna Lose You Now
by Mercury
Summary: Songifc to the Backstreet Boys song. Gatomon remembers the loss of her closest friend and has plenty of thoughts to boot. (Gatomon/Wizardmon romance!!) Enjoy!


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Moshi-moshi, minna-san! Mercury here, with a type of fanfic I've not tried before.  
  
Chibi Kenny- I gave her the idea. *nods proudly*  
Chibi Dai- I helped!!  
Chibi Mummymon- Me too!  
  
Gah, the chibi muses. Aren't they wonderful? *cuddles chibi muses* Gotta love 'em. Anywho, this is a songfic to the Backstreet Boys' song of the same name. They own the lyrics and I own the fanfic, and a lot of people own the characters.   
  
I really hope you enjoy. I know songfics aren't my strong point and I've never written anything Gatomon-ish before, but I've had this idea for a long time. *cringe* Hope it's good.  
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Don't Wanna Lose You Now  
by Mercury  
  
  
Gatomon had been walking for a very long time. She knew where she was going, but the last time she had been there, she didn't remember it taking so long to reach.   
  
She hated how it took her such a long time to get there. It left her with plenty of time to think about why she was going, and that was the saddest thing that had ever entered her mind.  
  
She remembered the day, many years before, when Tachikawa Mimi had graciously built small memorials for those Digimon that had ultimately sacrificed their lives for them. The saving, the dying, all of it replayed in Gatomon's mind, over and over again. And her thoughts wandered to the one of those Digimon that seemed most important to her; the only one that would never return.  
  
~I never thought that I would lose my mind  
That I could control this~  
  
"Oh, Wizardmon," she caught herself whispering. "You have no idea how much I miss you."  
  
She frowned and stopped walking. The wind seemed to have picked up as it rustled through the trees that stood in a forest to her left. She closed her eyes and let the wind fly over her, and she could almost remember her lost friend.  
  
It seemed so ironic to her. She was the one that her vicious master wanted to kill. She was the one that deserved to die. But it had not been her...and she forever felt guilty for this.  
  
~I never thought that I'd be left behind  
That I was stronger than you~  
  
"It should have been me," she cried to the whistling wind. "And it's been five years today...it should have been me..."  
  
She again walked, choking back the tears that needed to be cried but hadn't been in those five long years. She was startled every time the wind blew around her, because it seemed to have some familiarity to it, as though it was trying to comfort her.  
  
"I just need to understand why it wasn't me. I deserved it; he didn't." She looked toward the woods where the wind blew harder. "Just tell me what I want to know!"  
  
~If only I knew what I've done  
You know, so why don't you tell me~  
  
She waited, almost expectantly, for a reply fromt the gusting winds. When none came, she turned back to her long walk and noticed her destination in the near distance.  
  
She broke into a run, finally allowing the tears in her eyes to stream down her cheeks. She wished that something wonderful would happen, something miraculous that would occur when she got there. She wanted so badly to be able to tell Wizardmon what it always was that she felt for him.  
  
She'd just never had the chance.  
  
~And I, I would bring down the moon and the sun  
To show how much I care~  
  
She stopped running insantly when she reached the four small wooden crosses that Mimi had placed there half a decade ago. Her small frame nearly shook from the tears that she could no longer hold back as she faced the memorial for her lost friend.  
  
"I don't understand," she whispered through her tears. "You left me...and even though you're a Digimon you'll never come back to me. And I'll never get to tell you all the things I wanted to."  
  
~Don't wanna lose you now  
Baby, I know we can win this  
Don't wanna lose you now  
No no, or ever again~  
  
She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the cross that represented Wizardmon. Her tears had nearly subsided as she reminisced about all the times they had been together.  
  
With one strong gust of wind, she was carried away in her thoughts, far from that place on the beach where she sat and cried. Her thoughts wandered back, past her meeting with Hikari, past her many mistakes, to her first brush with evil.   
  
She remembered the first time she had met Wizardmon. And she remembered how sad she had felt that he might have left her. Had she not talked him into staying, she might never have escaped from the clutches of evil that grasped at her heart.   
  
"He was always there," she recalled. "And ever since the first time I laid eyes on him, I didn't want him to leave."  
  
~I've got this feeling you're not gonna stay  
It's burning within me~  
  
So many times, she knew, that he had put up with her. He tolerated her fits of anger, her times of depression, and the many times she had physically or emotionally injured him.   
  
Yet through all of that, his frienship still surged strongly thoughout her. And as the wind blew around her, it seemed to be filled with his spirit, trying but never achieving the goal of reaching her.  
  
She longed for that wind to bring them together again. But she realized, in the back of her heart, that this was a nearly impossible feat to accomplish.  
  
~The fear of losing  
Of slipping away  
It just keeps getting closer~  
  
She tried to will her mind to forget about him and to just move on, but nothing could make this work. She remembered a time long ago when they had been on the verge of a major argument.  
  
"I'm sick and tired of your complaining and endless trying to figure me out, Wizardmon," she had shouted.  
  
He had narrowed his piercing eyes and yelled back, "If it bothers you that much, then why don't you just leave?"  
  
When the incident had happened, she had simply huffed at him and stalked away. Now she wondered what had kept her from leaving him.   
  
No, she corrected herself, she knew why she had never left him. There was always a faint hope in her heart that maybe their friendship...was more than just a friendship.  
  
~Whatever reason to leave that I've had  
My place was always beside you~  
  
She admitted to herself that hope from years ago. It had often embarassed her, but now it only saddened her. She knew it wasn't possible. Never...  
  
She opened her eyes again and shook her head. She couldn't get the memories of him to leave, no matter what she did. Closing her eyes, opening them, thinking about other things, nothing worked. His spirit and his memories haunted her.  
  
Her mind pinpointed the reason. She wanted and needed someone like him to love her. Someone to take care of her and to listen when she needed to talk. Someone who could make her laugh instead of cry, or smile instead of frown. She needed him back.  
  
~And I wish that I didn't need you so bad  
Your face just won't go away~  
  
She lowered her head again, not willing to look at the cross. The wind was blowing as strong as she had ever seen wind blow before, if not stronger.   
  
"Why did you have to go?" she cried out pitifully. "I need you! Can't you understand that?"  
  
A voice, calm and passive, seemed to carry across the wind. It howled and whistled, and eventually her catlike ears picked up the words.  
  
".....I.......understand......"  
  
She stood up quickly. "Who said that?" she shouted to the wind.  
  
~Don't wanna lose you now  
Baby, I know we can win this  
Don't wanna lost you now  
No no, or ever again~  
  
There was a long, agonizing silence until the wind picked up again.  
  
"I can't......come to you...."  
  
She looked around, jerking her head from one side to the other. "Wizardmon, is it you?"   
  
The wind blew in a tight circle around her, almost as if it were embracing her. Then she knew it was him, but she understood that he couldn't come to her.   
  
She heard his voice, she felt his spirit, and that was all that mattered. She closed her eyes and allowed her memories to wash over her like the wind.  
  
~I never though that I would lose my mind  
That I could control this  
I never thought that I'd be left behind  
That I was stronger than you~  
  
"I'll never get over losing you," she said quietly. "But I'm not going to let it get to me anymore."  
  
The wind blew again, and she knew he was still there in spirit. As she began to walk away from the small memorial site, the wind grew fainter and fainter.   
  
"No..." she muttered. "Don't leave again."  
  
~Don't wanna lose to lonliness  
I know we can win this  
Don't wanna lose to emptiness  
Never again~  
  
She stood at the edge of the area and breathed heavily, waiting for some kind of sign that he would stay. But none ever came, and eventually all that was left of the wind was a tiny burst every so often.  
  
She turned back to face the direction the wind had seemed to vanish away to and shouted at the top of her lungs.  
  
"I'll never forget you, Wizardmon! If you never forget me!" She paused, took a deep breath, and called out, "I love you, Wizardmon!"  
  
~Don't wanna lose you now  
Baby, I know we can win this  
Don't wanna lost you now  
No no, or ever again~  
  
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Okay...praise, constructive criticism, and all that good stuff I don't mind getting are welcome, but I'll use flames to make s'mores for my chibis.   
  
.......Really, was this fic any good? I was thinking of doing one more about Wizardmon sometime soon.  
  
Chibis- *all smile innocently*  
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